Meghan Markle Admits She 'Didn't Want to Be Alive Anymore' Amid Constant Bullying From Media

Meghan Markle has admitted that she suffered suicidal thoughts at the hands of all the hate she received.

In her interview with Oprah, the 39-year-old Duchess opened up about what she was feeling as she was being aggressively bullied and scrutinized by the British tabloids and Internet trolls.

She sadly realized that the Royal Family was not protecting her, and she didn’t want to burden husband Prince Harry with this because she knew about all the loss he had suffered in his life.

“I didn’t want to be alive anymore. That was a very clear and real and frightening…constant thought,” Meghan shared with Oprah.

“I was really ashamed to say it at the time, and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, because I know how much loss he has suffered, but I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it — and I just didn’t want to be alive anymore,” Meghan said.

“It was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought,” Meghan recalled. “I remember how he just cradled me, and … I went to the institution, and I said I needed to go somewhere to get help … and I was told that I couldn’t.”

Meghan said that she begged the institution – which she explains is a small group of members that work for the Royal Family – to help her get help, but they told her she couldn’t get it.

“Were you Were you having suicidal thoughts?” Oprah asked.

“Yes, this was very, very clear,” Meghan responded. “Very clear and very scary. And I didn’t even know who to turn to in that. And one of the people that I reached out to, and who has continued to be a friend and confidant was one of my husband’s mom’s best friends, one of [Princess] Diana‘s friends.”

“I share this because there’s so many people who are afraid to voice that they need help, and I know how hard it is not just to voice it but to be told no,” Meghan said.

Find out every single update from Oprah with Meghan and Harry.

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